I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize