Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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