it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
