i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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