so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize