dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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