hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
