I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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