why didn't you poke me back
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
