I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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