Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
