There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
