I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize