all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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