some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
