Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
