I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
