Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
