Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
