I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
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