i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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