This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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