You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
