Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
