Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize