Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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