you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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