is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
