Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
