I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
