You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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