they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
