I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
