Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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