So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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