i jhust puked up my retainher.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
All the doctor said was why
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
