last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
