Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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