I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
