one might say we're banned from that church
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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