You really coming over, don't trick.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
