She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
