The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
