My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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