It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I need a burrito and a hug.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
