I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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