Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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