this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
