Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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