We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
