My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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