she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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