u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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