guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize