Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Im part way to drunk.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
