life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
