5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
