My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
