legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
