I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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