So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
