Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Never joke about your clitoris.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
