I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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